Show, Don't Tell

Laurell K Hamilton, who is one of my favorite authors, mainly because I really like her books, recently blogged something I saw and thought, "Holy cow, she's right."  I should say something about that because its not said enough.

To newer authors, showing and not telling is something they can struggle with.  It's something learned over time.  You find better ways to write things.   Show, Don't Tell is when you need to explain more, not just detail of blond hair and sharp teeth. 

Instead of saying "it hurt badly," explain what hurts, make sure you put in somewhere why it is hurting, and what does it feel like.
"My finger throbbed from the pin prick, still settled in the skin."  or "Blood flowed down my leg as the wave of stinging spasms pumped with every heart beat."  Now that one is a bit chunky, but it should help paint the picture. 

Think of your work as art, literally.
Canvas-  Pages
Brush-    Pen, pencil, computer, typewriter...
Paint-     Imagination
Rinse Water- Editing or chapter breaks, depending on the way you write.

Now think of the picture you are trying to portray. Lets say you want to paint a picture of the good ole' outdoors with a mountain, trees, maybe some birds, a lake peeking behind some trees.  How would you start? What aspect do you want it to be?  What angle do you want the viewer to see? What colors would match the time of the sun in the sky?  Where should I put the trees?  Mountain?  Should there be clouds about the mountain?

There are tons of questions you could ask yourselves about it.  As a writer, when you are planning your book you'll make those decisions. First person? Third?  Which angle should they read from?  Where should they be placed? 

When you decide where to put that mountain do you just draw a line, in the form of a triangle and decide, there is my mountain?  No, you have to give it detail.  You have to show the curves, colors, any rivers?  Are the trees changing to fall colors?  That is where the Show don't tell comes into play.

Just like that original line for a mountain, you have an original line for the sentence, "it was very painful."  Now expand. 

This is similar to the normal detail through a book.  It is detail.  But where detail is setting the reader up to know that the MC has brown hair, blue eyes and a thick mustache, showing helps the readers know how things feel in aspects of what we normally don't write, like how things feel, taste, sound. Not everything should be shown.  You don't need to show every twig you step over to get from point A to B.  Its more the intense things that help to draw empathy from the reader, get them more involved. 

If you write that the "he was very attractive." They are going to wonder what about that person draws you to them.  Instead you could explain having a hard time looking away from his naked upper body because of the curves on all the lustrous skin showing.  Tell people why and how things are hurting.  Why does it hurt.  Why is something beautiful. What draws you to someone.

I hope that's helpful.  I know there are many ways to explain it.  That is the way I look at it.  Its not the most accurate way, but it helps me show.